Our Colors

Everybody knows that I like purple, and that Pio likes blue and gray. So it is not surprising that the colors of our wedding are red and bronze.

(Very pointless intro, just testing humour. )

Red and bronze are the colors of forever
It is that lovely play of colors as the sun rises in the horizon
That reflection of the sun as it mirrors itself in the bay
Fire and sparks, in a cold and dark night
The kiss of sun in the sky as it leaves for the day

Red and bronze,
For the sunrise and sunsets of the rest of our lives.

(Dad, sensha na di ako magaling sa limmericks hwuhwuhwu..)



Edit:
I couldn't have written it any better.;-) Anyway, just want to share the painting that started it all. We were talking about what color it would be, we've talked about red before but never seriously, and never thought of bronze until we saw this painting. Its by Cynthia Gould, a Toronto Artist, you can see more of her work at http://www.cynthiagould.com/. Just like what Kristine said, red and bronze matches perfectly.

I said! =)

Ahem, ahem.
Our life started on the month of May, 10 years ago. I first laid my eyes on him on May, and yes I was on happy mood then. This was why: It was my first time to travel alone to Manila (I’m from Las Piñas) and I was lost on my way to Adamson. I missed my Masagana Mall landmark and I landed in Sta. Isabel. I started walking away from Adamson and I was lost among the green G.I. sheets that walled Sta. Isabel University. I had a funny instinct that I was going the wrong way so I turned around and walked and walked until I saw the Adamson walkway. So stupid of me to get lost. I must be suppressing my giggles when we made eye contact. He was sitting alone in a cigarette stand in front of the walkway, a stranger who was clueless of my morning lost and found adventure.

Little did I know, he would wreak havoc in my quiet, private little life. He turned out to be my classmate in DOST summer class in Adamson. He always picked on me. He would greet me and make fun of me. He paired me up with boys, broadcasted my name during breaks, got my number and gave it to everybody. Just basically a pain in the neck every day until the end of class.

I thought my life would be Pio-free when I entered college. Wrong! There he was, sitting at the back of the room when I walked in W307, section B107. When I had the chance to give him a piece of my mind, I frankly told him, “Di ba ikaw yung mayabang na greet ng greet sa kin sa DOST?”, which of course, he denied to death. From then, he started being nice to me.

Then, we became friends, we used to call each other a lot on the phone. I remember the first time he called me, he was asking me to do our Chemistry report for him. The nerve! But he was just joking then. He was one of the most intelligent persons and the funniest person I know. He naturally knew the stuff which ticked and tickled me.

We really enjoyed the friendship we had. He drew flowers on paper and gave them to me. We fold hearts out of paper and we made crazy bets! One time, I lost a bet to him, and the prize? My life. I bet my life on some Trig problem, in which he was right. Also, I remember, he drew his name on my hand with one of my colored pens, and he told me that if the drawing was still there by the next day, I would have a special prize. So I did the same to him.

I knew he would have the drawing by the next day, so I just bought a little gift for him-a small Disney button with “P” for his name. I remember wrapping my hand with plastic when I bathed so that the ink won’t wash out. The next day, I happily showed him my hand and to my disappointment, my drawing was erased from his and he even made fun of me for keeping mine. He didn’t give his gift for me until it was my birthday (it was a CD), in return I still gave him the button.

It was nice being friends with him. Even when we parted sections the next semester, we still talked and spent time with each other. Until the friendship became questionable to me, because I liked all things that was him. Sometimes, I thought of him and I missed him. I would be very secretive to my friends of the time we spent together. Then, reality slapped me when one my friends asked me what is going on between him and me. Of course, the “just friends” thing came out of my mouth.

But I knew better when he introduced me to his best friends and they serenaded me with love songs. He sang me love songs...But nobody would say anything, nobody would give definition to what we were and where were we. There were times it got awkward, then came the “pakiramdaman” of some sort. I got scared of what might happen to me if I got closer to him that I decided to stay away from him for a while. I was young and vulnerable and I didn’t want to complicate my life even further. And parting was ok with him also. I won’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt.

Months passed and I got used to not having him in my life anymore. So I lead another life, a life without him for three years… We would avoid each other, a lot. I remembered he didn’t run for president in our org (although he wanted to), because I was an officer there. He would send his minions (hwehwe) to me if he needed anything from me. But it was difficult to avoid him because he was popular. We worked together as encoders during enrollment, but we would not talk to each other. He attended all my org meetings, the only time he was quiet! I would hear stories about him, about his relationships and personal life. But I just acted indifferent and disinterested to all the things about him.

Not that he didn’t reach out. I remembered he poured out everything that happened to us to my good friend Ruby. After that, he called me. And he told me he missed me…It was one of my most heartbreaking moments, because I was caught unprepared and I didn’t know what to say…

Then came Electronics design class, 4th year. I had no choice but to group with him, otherwise I would be grouped with people I didn’t personally know. It was sooooooooo awkward. My groupmates knew what happened between us and one Sunday meet, they teased us and left us alone suddenly. I was toying with someone’s keys on the table just to break the silence when he stopped the thing and he talked to me. He told me his side of the story. Which got me confused and strangely enlightened. Just before the other teammates arrived, he asked me, “Masaya ka ba?” (Referring to my other commitment.)

I replied, “3 years, dapat masaya di ba?”
I realized, I could not answer yes because I could not deny right there and then that I never stopped falling for him…

Design class allowed us to spend time with each other, in and outside school. It was like making up for the lost time. He took care of me like nobody did, he would take me home and hung out with me again. It was paradisial, a word I used for the first time in my life to describe what I felt. Then one day in May, we didn’t deny it anymore. We admitted to ourselves how much we really missed and loved each other.

And now, we will start the rest of our lives on the month of May. I could finally give his prize to the bet I once lost to him. My life…

He Said

It always happens in May. Almost Everything about our story happened in May.

The first time that we met was May 1998. Its I think the second day of the Summer Workshop for DOST Scholars. Iwas early and hanging out near a cigarette vendor in walk way going to Adamson because there's nothing 'beautiful' to see iniside; when I suddenly saw her walking towards me. Eyes filled with joy and smiling - almost like she wants to hug me. It's like one of those close up commercials. What a way to start the day right? She'd later on deny this, just wait for her side of the story, but I knew she fell for me at first sight. I only realized later that she's also on the same workshop. She must've recognized me from the day before. I was a rascal back then and always wants to be the center of attention, plus I know I won't be seeing anyone in thsi room (aside from my friends and batchmates from high school)and since the workshop is a bit boring, I decided to pick on her. I would go up to the podium every morning and every break and say "Excuse me classmates, Hi daw sa girl na naka-white jacket." I did that everyday till she cringe out of shame since everyone was now asking who was it. I told everyone that the greeting is not from me and started pairing her up with one of the scholars, I just like seeing her all blushed up.Then her two weeks of embarrassing moments ended with the closing of the workshop and we all had to part our ways - or so I thought.

When the class started its my turn to blush. Not only are we on the same school, we are on the same class - block mates for all our subjects for the first sem. I arrived early the first weeks and managed to avoid her by seating at the back. But then she casually asked me while we were talking with some of our classmates, "DOST ka rin di ba? ikaw yung mayabang na laging me hawak nung mic." Ofcourse I denied everything telling her she must be thinking of someone else. Then as the sem went on we ended up being close friends - bestfriends. We started calling each other up and ending up four hours on the phone. But it was still pure clean friendship then. We just really enjoy talking to each other, no one antagonize me as much as she does and I enjoy arguing with her over everything. But in school we have different circles, which she often complains about. But hey, we were just friends. We started giving each other gifts and hanging out with each other. When the sem came we already have different classes but she'll stay after her classes while I'll come in early so that we could sit and chat for a while, and ofcourse the endless phone calls.

So that's how we were. We were so close that people started thinking that we were together, I remember someone even asked my permission to go out with her on a concert. When my relationship back then ended (for reasons other than her, I told you we were just bestfriends) she was there to pick me up and nothing changed. People still confuse the two of us as an item though we were really just friends. The first time that I realized what they were seeing was I think Christmas. Viquint Isaac and I (my best buddies) were hanging out at my place playing guitar when I introduced her to them through phone, we ended up serenading her over the phone for hours. After the call, Viquint pointed out to me that I like her more than as a friend. That's the first time I admitted it but told them that I won't be doing anything or at least not yet, because I don't want her to feel that its just a rebound because she deserves something special. Months passed by, and we've been on that situation for months. Not knowing if were going to take the friendship to another level or stay as bestfriends.

Things got so complicated, people are asking the same questions we were asking ourselves, are we together? It finally got to her and asked me for some space. I was too proud to say no. Till the school year ended and the summer We stayed apart. I'd call her, but I won't talk, what's there to say. I finally decided to do something about our situation and take the leap - when the school start. Just one surpise, when the school started I couldn't get her alone she's always with someone and seems to be avoiding me. That's how I found out she now have a boyfriend. Oh the irony. After that the day we avoided each other. Which is hard especially when she became the Coordinator for DOST - that means we have to see each other every pre-lims and enrollments to submit the grades. Often I could get away with it having someone pass my grades but for the instances that I can't it was always an awkward situation. It's like she wants to say something I want to say something but no one is going to say anything. I remember one time, it was after her bestfriend Ruby finallly told me her side of the story on what happened and I told Ruby my side, Ruby told her what I toldv Ruand Ruby told me what she said but both of us saying we want to hear it from each other before we believe it. When I saw her the next day to submit my grade she was alone in her office, after I handed her my grade I was still standing in the room, she asked me if I was going to say anything else I rebutted asking her the same question we both broke out laughing and saying if the other one is not going to say anything then we are not going to say anything. We ended up parting ways again adding more awkwardness to an already awkward sitation. She goes in a room, I'll go out, and vice versa.That went on for years. She has a steady relationship while I've been in and out of relationships, both of us trying our best to avoid each other.

TIll the last two terms in college. I guess deep down we already admitted to ourselves that it wasn't meant to be and already accepted that after college we wont even be a footnote to each other's life. But fate, it seems have another idea. Now just to make things clear, I wasn't the one who enrolled myself that term, so I don't have any hand in this, this is pure serendipity. We ended up on the same design class, design class is a group class sort of like a thesis. What's worse, we both don't know anyone on the class but the same four people. So its either we bunked up and put our grades on the hands of people we know or one of us will end up grouping with people he/she don't know. I told Ruby to tell her that if she doesn't want to be in the same group I'm willing to go to another team but she said it was ok. The first weeks were as awkward as the past three years.

Then came one sunday in May. As school-boy crazy like the first time, I thought, "What the heck, college is about to end, after this we wont be seeing each other again." I decided to come out clean. I told her everything, my side of the story. I never planned to do anything about it. I was just letting her know. The unexpected happenned. I guess it was time for us to finally face what we've both been avoiding for years.What started out as a moment of insanity, a day of being honest to each other created a whirlwind of emotions and confussions. No one really know what was happenning even us. That day left us more confused than we were three years ago, but just as certain as how we both felt. Since we both had things to fix in our lives before we could even ponder if this would work, we gave each other a month to figure out if we really want this and weren't just being swept away by the feelings we've held back for so long.

Six years after, I still fall in love with here all over again when I wake up every morning.

Our Church

San Agustin has been our haven. It has been a silent witness to our love, fights, reconcilations, talks and basically watched our relationship grew for the whole six years.

We have been attending mass here every saturday ever since Board exams. I know what you're thinking, board exams? Shouldn't it be Saint Jude or Baclaran? The thing is, my girl here gets easily dizzy in crowded places, and when I say dizzy I mean fainting dizzy. We tried attending mass at Baclaran but she fainted even before we get pass the main doors. So I told her why not just attend church here in San Agustin. Its near Mapua and the Review Center and accessible plus there's not that much people attending mass here - and I think God is big enough to hear our 'Please help us pass the board exams' plea from anywhere. So it started as just for Mass and then afterwards we'll light a candle to Saint Rita of the Impossible. From there it became a Saturday habbit for us to go there. One day we came in earlier than usual and arrive before a wedding was done. We watch the wedding even though we don't know who they were, I guess we both silently wishing to ourselves that we were the ones in the altar. After that we usually come in early and watch the weddings.

Then there were also the fights, When we have some misunderstanding and she'll end up saying she doesn't want to see me, or I'd end up not answering her calls we both end up finding each other sitting inside San Agustin. Reflecting. I used to tell her that no matter what our problem were when I'm inside the church, nothing seems to matter but our love for each other. We'd always end up going home together. That's how the church became a silent listener to all our troubles, me trying to explain to her what happened and her telling me how she feels. I guess that's why the church end up being special to us. From then on, we've always wanted to get married in San Agustin, and next year she'll be walking down that old aisle in Intramuros, and I'll be be standing at the altar - nervously, waiting... for the rest of my life to start.